Agoraphobia
by Jatd4ever
Summary: Agoraphobia: is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and often avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed. As Gunther's health is declining, he leaves his room less and less. But he knows if things don't change, he'll perish. With Jane's help, can he get over his fears before it's too late? Jane/Gunther


***I don't own Jane and the Dragon, or its characters **

Why does it seem as though I'm getting weaker and weaker, slowly I'm losing feeling on my hands and feet. My hands hurt when I try to lift a sword, I can no longer shoot arrows not only because it hurts, my eyesight is also deteriorating. I don't heal quickly when I get cut, or when I walk, my body feels as though I've fallen off a horse a dozen times. Jane had taken notice that I wasn't myself, that my condition was getting worse, she didn't say anything, but she tries to cheer me up. Sometimes, she'll ask if I want so spar or wrestle, but my bandaged hands can't feel and slowly my heart is losing feeling.

I hated the stares of those around me treating me like a cripple. So less and less I left my room. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll fall or that I'll trip and won't be able to get up. I know I'll die if I continue like this, but what can I do at this point? Sometimes I have sudden fits of pain, my breathing shallow, my body grows cold, and all of a sudden I'll feel as though I'm going to die. I go to my happy place and remember the times I was shone kindness by Jane. Like the time we got caught in the rain and we huddled under a tree, sharing a single coat, waiting for the rain to pass. At that time I almost felt happy, as though that maybe there was something between us, but of course, I had to mess it up. By the time I remember the depressing part, I no longer feel pain, but get overcome by tears.

I think I'm going mad, sometimes I want to pull out my hair, other days I wish I were dead. The idea of leaving my room makes my skin crawl, it fills me with so much dread that it becomes hard to breath. It got worse after I witnessed my father's murder. I hated my father, but I never desired for him to die. I couldn't save him, I shivered as his body grew cold. I never returned to my house since, I've only stayed in this cold room, with nothing to stare at but these stone walls. Like always, I was sitting in the corner looking at the wall. Today I watched a bug walk across my wall, having something to do.

I do have a window, but I'm afraid of falling to my death. I miss the days me and Jane made fun of one another, to work hard to become a knights. The warmth of the sun against my skin, it used to feel so nice despite its heat.

_I want to live again._

Normally, with a knock on my door, a red-headed she knight would ask "Do you want to spar?"

But today was different, she came in and said nothing, but hugged me. Like the sun, her kindness kept me warm. Then after a few minutes she softly cooed "I'm sorry for ignoring you"

I couldn't speak, my words got caught in my throat, but she already knew "I know, you don't have to say anything."

_No, this won't do_

"Jane, help me"

Letting go of me she asked "Help you? With what?"

"I need...ha...to...get...out!"

"Are you alright?"

Grabbing a piece of paper, I write "I want to live again"

"Why don't we go for a walk?"

On the paper I wrote "I'm afraid of falling"

He face softened as she grabbed my hand gently "You have nothing to fear, I'll be with you. I promise to protect you"

Whatever feeling left in my hands could feel the gentle kindness and warmth that was Jane. We walked slowly, toward the doorway, my heart beat quickened, and again my feelings of dread wanted to overcome me. Sensing my fear, she reassured me with a light squeeze on my hand, and continued to exit the doorway. My body began to feel light as though I would lose conscious, and my legs gave up sending me to the ground, the last thing I saw before I blacked out was smile, and the last thing I heard was "You have done well"

A few hours passed when I woke up, it was around the time the midday meal, and normally Pepper would leave it on my desk and leave without a word, but today Jane brought my meal and asked "Would you like some company?"

Fearing I would stumble over my words, I shook my head yes. Without hesitation, Jane told me about her day and things she saw on patrol with Dragon. Even though I didn't talk back, I happily listened while eating whatever it was that Pepper made. When i finished, she picked up my bowl and apologized "I'm sorry if I talked too much"

Taking a piece of paper, I wrote "I'm sorry for being a bore"

"Not at all, I just glad to see you're well"

In reply, I wrote "Thank you for trying to help"

"I promise, that you'll get well so that you can be my rival again"

Later on that day, she did the same like during the midday day meal, talking while I listened.

**The second day**

Today we managed to walk into the hallway, before I blacked out. I didn't wake until the evening. Upon waking, I saw the she knight sleeping on the hard floor. Getting out of bed, I sat beside her, watching as her nose wrinkled, or how she mumbled while she dreamed. In the time I've been sheltered, I missed out on watching her grow more beautiful, missed out on her insults, missed out on all the fun we had trying to compete with each other. I longed to be gazed upon with those emerald eyes, as her fury got the better off her, or stealing glances when we noticed one another. Fearing Jane could catch a cold, I picked her up, and walked steadily to her room.

For once, I wasn't overly worried about myself, but for someone else. Placing her on her bed, I walked away slowly but stopped in my tracts as I heard her exclaim "Gunther?"

"Yes Jane?"

Getting out of bed, she gave me a warm embrace "You have done well"

Slowly wrapping my arms around her, I said "Thank you"

"I missed you Gunther"

"I missed you too"

Walking me back to my room "Good night, I'll see you tomorrow"

Closing the door behind me, I fell while gasping, with a hand on my chest. I didn't feel so afraid when we walked back, but I did feel nervous. Barely making it to bed, I went to sleep.

**The third day**

Getting up today was a little easier, for I knew she would be stopping by. I got out of bed, and for the first time in a while, put on my tunic.

With a knock on the door, Jane came in with two apples "Will this do?"

"Only for horses"

"Nice to see you're more spirited today"

"Didn't you say you missed me?"

"Any way, after we eat, we'll try something else"

Quickly we ate our apples, and I listened as she's instructed "Today, were going to the Royal gardens, but I'm not holding your hand. Just follow me"

Opening my door, she asked "Are you ready?"

_I want to live again_

"Yes"

Walking ahead of me, I followed her toward the gardens. Running toward the fountain, she held her arms open, and yelled "Come right here"

It was some distance between me and her, I felt nauseous, and felt as though I might faint but she cheered me on "I know you can do it, come now, close the gap between us so that I can give you a hug"

My skin felt as though bugs were crawling all over my skin, my breathing shallow "I can't Jane, I'm scared"

"I'll catch you if you fall, but you have to trust me!"

Taking a deep breath, I started to run toward her, I felt as though I would be overcome by the darkness but she smiled at me and cheered "Come on my arms are getting tired"

Closer and closer, the gap between us shortened, and with the last burst of energy, I fell into her arms "I... Ha...did...it"

Sitting on the ground, she laid my head on her lap as she cooed "You have done well, in so proud of you"

"Im...ha...,. So... Tired"

Patting my hair, she smiled as she cooed "Just rest, I know your tired. Just relax"

Staring into those emerald eyes, I tried my best to calm my troubled heart, buy those eyes excited me. So I closed my eyes and listened to her light breathing and humming until I feel asleep.

When I woke it was night-time, and i was back in my room. There was a note on my bed, that read

"_I wish I could be in your company but I have to run a few errands. I'll see you tomorrow, sleep well"_

Closing the note, I placed it under my pillow and went back to sleep

**The Forth Day**

I was already dressed from the day before, so I got up and stretched.

"Good day Gunther, I'm sorry I couldn't eat dinner with you or the midday meal"

"That's alright, but I'm so hungry I could eat a horse"

"Good, because we're going into town to drink some good ale"

"I didn't know you drank?"

"In the summer, a cool ale is more refreshing than water"

"Surely I'll out drink you"

"Is that a challenge?"

"When is it not?"

"And what would you like to eat?"

"I'm not sure"

"Than, let's go drink some ale"

Following her, we managed to her into town without me breaking out into a fit of panic. Entering a pub called bear claw, we drank until out bellies were full. I won the drinking match, but the ale was a bit weak so we didn't get drunk however, I was a bit dizzy. Leaving the pub, we walked toward the forest "What now Jane?"

"Now we eat"

"Eat what grass?"

"Just follow me"

Going through a maze of trees, she led me toward a cherry tree "Eat all the cherries you like"

"Why cherries?"

In a matter of fact way, she answered "Because their sweet"

_Is it the ale, or has she always looked this beautiful?_

Grabbing cherries, she ate like no tomorrow, spitting out the pits as far as she could. But the sight of cherries juice on her face looked like blood, that's when I began to panic and fell to the ground grabbing my chest. I looked around and didn't know where to run. Ask I could do was lay there helpless as I gasped for air "Jjjj...an..e"

Rushing toward my side, she placed my head on her lap arms asked "What is your name?"

"Ggggg...un...th...er"

"Good now, what's my name?"

I didn't understand why she was asking something i already knew but I as answered anyway "Jjjjj...an.e"

"That good, you're doing well. Now tell me how old you are?"

"Ttt...wween...ty...years old"

"What color are my eyes?"

"Emmm...erald"

"And what is your name?"

"Gunther"

"And the color of my hair?"

"Red"

Patting my hair, she asked with a smile "And how do you feel now?"

"A little better"

"Good, just remember, if you can talk, you can breathe. Each time you feel shortness of breathe tell yourself if I can talk I can breath, say it continually until you feel better."

Sitting up, we both leaned against the cherry tree, enjoying the warmth from the sun. My heart beat was still very fast but I didn't let me stop myself from placing a soft kiss on her lips. Her lips were sweet from the juice of the berries. Looking at her eyes when I pulled away, she softened her gaze as she embraced me and whispered in my ear "What was that for?"

"I wanted to know if you were sweet."

Kissing me lightly, she decides to use my shoulder as a pillow and falls asleep. Feeling drowsy, I do the same. When I woke, we were still under the cherry tree, and it was around afternoon.

Looking beside me was Jane sleeping soundly, everything felt right in the world. Since I thought people would start to worry, I picked her up and made my way slowly to the castle. The sun's warmth wasn't overbearing, but just right. The forest was especially beautiful since Jane was in it. Back at the castle, I laid her on her bed. Before stepping out her door, I heard her mumble in her sleep " I love you..., Gunther "

Closing the door behind me, I ran all the way back to my room. Sinking to the floor, I grabbed my chest as it ached in pain.

_Jane loves me?_

For the rest of the day, I laid in bed, thinking about the happiness I've had within the last couple of days.

**The Fifth day**

Jane wasn't so cheerful today as she came to visit. She was wearing a nice gown, which wasn't normal for her. Sitting on a chair next to my bed, she began to explain "Gunther, what do you think? Do I look nice?"

"You look ravishing"

"Thank you. Today, I came to tell you that I won't be able to see you anymore."

_Something's wrong_

Sensing my distress, she answered before I could ask "I'm getting married this morning"

_No, this is a nightmare_

"Jane, why?"

"I've never told you, but I have loved you my whole life, even when we were rivals. These last few days have been the best days of my life, I wish we had more time."

Placing an affectionate kiss on my lips, she ran out of my room with tears running down her face.

_No, this is wrong, I need to go after her_

Getting our of bed, I mentally prepare myself

_Don't be afraid to die, for a life without Jane it's worse than death_

Stepping outside my room, became harder breathing

_If I can talk, I can breathe_

"Jane!"

Running toward the throne room, my lungs were on fire, my heart-felt ready to burst, I yelled "Jane you can't marry anyone but me"

Turning around, she stood with open arms. Running info her arms she rubbed my back and cooed "I'm so proud of you. You're in time for the wedding, our wedding"

"I don't understand"

"Do you know, we were promised to each other to be married when we were children? Probably not, even I didn't know, but since you were stuck in your room, our wedding was going to be called off. I promised that if I couldn't get you to come here by yourself, than I would marry whoever my parents choose. But I loved you, and trusted you, and believed in you. So will you marry me?"

My raging heart calmed down, and my body felt light, everything was at peace in the world. Parting from our embrace, I smirked "Aren't I supposed to ask you that?"

Smiling happily, she said in a matter is fact way "All's fair in love and war"

Hand in hand, and promising to love each other till death do we part, we became husband and wife.

**Epilogue**

I still suffer from sudden fits of fear, but less often than before. Thanks to a change in eating habits, my body doesn't hurt as much as before, and I regained feeling in my hands. We regularly spar, to sharpen our skills even if she sends me falling on my arse.

Everyday may not always be good, but we live as though everyday were our last, and I'm truly living again.

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**Review, it helps**


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